GUIDANCE

“Wait until the time is right. An action taken too soon can be as ineffective as one taken too late. In recovery, we are learning to be effective. Our answers will come. Our guidance will come. Pray. Trust. Wait. Let go. We are being led. We are being guided.” -Melody Beattie

I have always known grief as the deepest expression of sadness. Standing next to it, an equal expression of pain. It’s been my openness to what’s known and unknown, though, that has revealed more. Underneath our loss, buried with our grief, is love. And when I say love, I mean the deepest kind of love that may exist. Although I am no where near the end of its teachings, I pray that what continues to be revealed to me proves helpful to you in your journey and understanding of the wildest beast of all: grief.

I know something powerful is at work, as I’m freely writing the word God and not panicking inside. Much conflict and confusion has centered around my relationship with this Power. Yet, the truth is, I wouldn’t have survived my childhood without the love and grace of the Creator watching over me. Still, in many ways, I’ve hung onto this outdated image and understanding of God: white with long hair, wears a cloak and only accepts an abbreviated portion of us. Exclusivity has left many of us fragmented and hopeless in an overstimulated world. It’s time we update our understanding and allow this Force to meet us as we are and where we need to be healed the most.

Here I am: willingly being cracked and broken, open. At the same time, there is this heightened part of my ego that knows nothing about this life I am stepping into—it’s weary, skeptical. It’s constantly on-guard and asking, “Are you sure? Are you sure this is next? Are you sure you aren’t going backwards?” It’s resistance that would prefer I back down. But, gently, I whisper back, “Yes, I’m sure my love.”

There is no greater reward than the one we find when we learn to trust ourselves. Yes, you are beautiful. Yes, you have been called to do what has never been done before. And yes, you are deeply admired. But before you rush off to receive all these external accolades, know that there is a solitary belief that must first be planted and nurtured within you. For all the things that you wish others would see and believe about you, you must first honor and receive for yourself. Only then, will you find true contentment. Only then, will you be healed.

What and how we choose to remember our past, defines the reality and bandwidth of who we are in this current moment. Our memories serve as potent energetic imprints on our mind, emotional body, and spirit. Choose wisely. Choose intentionally, what you will remember about yourself and your past. Choose to reflect on what was gained from your past and that which is bringing you peace today. Just remember…

Are you aware of what stops you from flowing? There are the obvious life circumstances that would cause anyone to pause, reflect, and regather themselves—in those situations, you can identify exactly what happened. However, this message is about the hidden energies that drain you of life. In the end, it’s all resistance. The first step in overcoming any form of resistance is becoming aware of it.

This past winter, I entered what I call “low power mode.” It’s similar to how bears hibernate in the winter. I noticed last year when it came to winter, my energy would shift and it was harder for me to get things done. I said, “next winter I’m going to do things differently.” For me, low power mode has been about continuing to do stuff but just creating more space to have breaks in-between. It’s given me space to really reflect on the impact of 2020, let go, and get clear on the road ahead.

“Are you paralyzed with fear? That’s a good sign. Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember our rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”

The practice of self-care has never been more crucial to us as individuals and as a collective whole, whether that means losing yourself in a hobby, operating in low power mode, or creating space and time for yourself. These are just three of Dr. Darrien Jamar’s suggestions for how to live in a state of reflection and restoration during such a tumultuous time.

Self-care is certainly a buzz word lately. It’s meaning is varied—simple yet complex. I define self-care as a constant commitment to keeping up with where you are at any given moment in your life. No matter your definition or perspective, it’s essential that you define (and refine) a self-care routine that works for you…now more than ever.

How…why are we so far removed from trusting ourselves? We are often surprised to know that we knew the answer all along, if only we trusted our instincts. Allow the elephant to be your inspiration and guide as you navigate 2021, the year to move beyond the resistance.