Uninvited Guest
Once again, I find myself answering the call of this memory. “Yes?” I respond, less to its call and more to the request behind it.
And there I am again. Decked out in my royal blue cap and gown—up there on the stage amongst my preschool peers. They are there, but it feels like its just me. They are blurred and I am in view. They are singing, but I can only hear myself. I’m singing, but really I am praying…prophesying to the version of me that would one day need to be reminded of the essence of this truth: I believe I can fly. I believe I can touch the sky. I think about it every night and day, I spread my wings and fly away. I believe I can soar. I see me running through that open doorrrrrrr.
Joshua 1:1-9
This text in the book of Joshua is one of the three scriptures/passages I was led to meditate on in this particular year of my life. Until last night, it meant the same thing, it hadn’t changed since the first time I read it. I took away from it that 1) God will call us to step up during an appointed time, as was the case for Joshua after the death of Moses. Joshua had been Moses aide for 40 years, naturally, he was the most well suited for the job, to lead the Israelites into the promised land. Yet, Joshua was scared. He questioned his role, the responsibility and weight of it. I connected so deeply to that, I’d been there many times and, as confirmation would have it, I know this point to be true for many in this year, 2022 the year of the beaver. From the very beginning, it has been on my spirit that many are being guided to stand firm in both your identity and sense of authority.
2) The Israelites were coming into the promised land, they were exiting a season of wandering. They were returning. This year many are being called to familiarize yourself with a new language. You are being asked not to forget, but to remember that your inheritance is love, joy, freedom and peace. You have done the time wandering, lost, afraid and anxious—you have done the necessary work of healing—now its time to sing a new song and put down the old book. A new thing is happening, can’t you see it?
2022, The Beaver Returns: https://www.darrienjamar.com/resources/2022thebeaver
39 YEARS BEFORE
Growing up I heard many “old timers” say, if it were a snake it would have bit you. That’s how I felt last night. I almost dropped the Bible, actually. Its message, the one I had not previously seen, the third point I was waiting for, jumped out and moved me so powerfully.
Thirty-nine years before, the Israelites had the opportunity to enter the promise land. They were instructed to enter it. What they desired was right before them. But, amongst them were a generation of unbelievers. These unbelievers were unbendable, stuck in their ways—led by ego. It was this same generation that caused them not to step into a land and season overflowing with abundance. Instead, they were forced into a desert season. Spirit used this dry season to kill off the unbelievers until what remained were those who believed, those who would be obedient and faithful—those who would obey the instincts of their heart and would use their will power to move forward. After a span of time, the inner work had been done and it was time; they were inwardly ready to receive the promises. After 39 years, a new invitation was now awaiting them.
Choice & OBEDIENCE
The reality is, we often play a much larger role in our trauma than we care to admit, particularly as it relates to remaining in it. Often times, we have many opportunities to grow, learn, and move on—yet, we have put more Faith in our fears than our future. This becomes more of an issue when we don’t understand the nature of seasons. For everything, there is a season. Nothing is forever. What you have the chance to do today, you may not get tomorrow. By not believing, by not heeding and trusting the inner call that is speaking to you today, you risk being set back.
I want to leave you with 3 points that may assist you in surrendering your unbelief and guiding you to a place of belief, and understanding the role your choices and obedience will play as you enter your promised land.
1) Unbelief (and its consequences)
When I speak of unbelief, know that I am not referring to whether you believe in a Higher Power or not. I am speaking to the things in your life that you refuse to give up, that you hold and carry but are simultaneously burning and hurting you. These things are heavy, weighing you down. When you sit with the question of whether its bringing you peace, the answer is a defiant no.
Call out the beliefs (belief systems) that you know aren’t serving you. Right them down. Ponder the consequences of clinging to these unbelief’s.
2)Uninviting (working out and through)
It’s a process: it takes time to rid ourselves of these unbelief’s and the trauma inside that seems to attract things that aren’t good for us. Recognize that during the Israelites dry, desert season—the disobedient generation were dying off while the mindful generation were growing deeper and stronger. Even though they missed their opportunity, their dry season was still useful and ultimately used for their good. Time was used, not wasted.
If you are in between what was and what is to come—are you using your time wisely? How are you being gentle with yourself while you wait to enter your next season? What role is self-compassion playing in this season of your life?
3) The Invitation (belief)
Ultimately, this is a prayer—because words have power. In the word, there is both life and death. For some, you may be more sensitive to this point. I know this to be true for me, growing up in an environment where I was called things that were meant to hurt (and they did). And, honestly, I grew to believe them. I grew to see lack because of the things that were spoken over me. Yet, I eventually entered that season where it was time for me to throw away the things that I knew in my heart were not serving me. I took the time, the years to cleanse myself, to allow the hurt to rise to the surface so that the light of love would reveal and heal.
Slowly and assuredly, I was led to understand a new language. This new language, although unfamiliar I instinctively knew it was right…that it was good. Now, I invite into my life only things that will bring me peace, love and joy. I have learned the role and power I have in inviting these things into my life, by seeking and expecting them. I know that words are power, so I choose them wisely. And when I don’t know what to ask for, what to seek, or what to do—I ask God to help me.
What do you desire and need? What would it look like to find the courage to ask and expect these things? What is awaiting you in your promised land?