The Pursuit of You
We must each discover our own truth.
We must each discover and stand in our own light.
We often need to struggle, fail, and be confused and frustrated. That’s how we break through our struggle; that’s how we learn what is true and right for ourselves.
--Melody Beattie
Staying on this course long enough will eventually lead you to this beautiful, yet scary moment. Its what I call a Peter moment. In Matthew Chapter 14 Jesus asked His disciples to get into the boat and go ahead of Him. A great span of time had passed before Jesus decided to catch up with them. Instead of getting into a boat himself, well, Jesus did what any of us would do. He walked across the lake towards them. This terrified the disciples in the boat, as they watched His approaching. Is it a ghost? Jesus did his best to calm their fears, but it was Peter who challenged him. “Lord, if it’s you—tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” was His reply. Peter obeyed. Getting out of the boat he began to make his way across the water when, suddenly, he panicked and then began to sink. Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
It’s safe to assume that, somewhere deep within him, Peter knew Jesus had the power to give him access to walk on water. Otherwise, why would he have asked? You don’t just ask anyone to do something like that. What was it that scared Peter? What was it that caused him to doubt? Like Peter, many of you are entering a season of witnessing great power, flow, and healing. Although you’ve struggled and fought to reach this point, you’ve remained obedient. To go further, to be able to stand fully in what you desire and what you are asking for, though, the fears, anxieties, and insecurities that are within you must rise to the surface. You won’t be able to walk across the water, to the next point, with the weight of your trauma and hidden insecurities. Allow what you are seeing and feeling to surface; allow your awareness to grow deeper. Do so, minus the shame, and move on. This is necessary. This is still part of the process. All of this—all of this will be asked of you, in the continued pursuit of you.
WE CAN ONLY Break Old Agreements By Revisiting THE HOME WE BUILT FOR THEM.
As I listened to my client, I knew where she was. I have grown to know that feeling: she was breaking free. But, from her perspective (understandably), she was being set back. As she doubted the integrity of the situation she was facing as a pathway to higher grounds, I reminded her of her solar plexus (our center of personal power). She explained how she felt like she couldn’t access it…that she couldn’t get to it. Her specific words were, “I feel like its an egg that won’t crack open.”
Cracking the Inside, First.
I was moved by the feeling behind her words. Through a light Google search, I was inspired to learn that no egg just “cracks open” all at once. It’s a process. It’s a process that is first triggered by the desire and necessity to breathe: “the shortage of oxygen triggers the embryo to start lung respiration.” In order to achieve lung ventilation, the chick must use its beak to pierce through the inner membrane of its shell, completing a process known as internal pipping (a process not yet observed on the outside, but is completed within—out of the eye of the world).
Is what you truly desire for yourself, as strong as your need to breathe? A weak desire will always yield flimsy, condition based results. Only a strong, intrinsic desire can break your inner barriers and sustain you forward.
NOTE: Only Internal Resources Can Be Used HERE.
Next, the embryo begins tapping on the eggshell using a sharp, strong structure on the top of its beak called an egg tooth. It’s through the combination of its egg tooth and the strength of its neck or pipping muscle, that the embryo begins tapping away until it achieves a crack or hole in its shell. It is only now that the work of this embryo becomes visible to the outside world.
What innate resources do you have that will see you through your process? In other words, what are your Divine given strengths (we all have them)? Where have you always had a natural level of endurance and ability? As you identity these things—use them. Use them and, rest assured, little by little, you will begin to witness your shell cracking on the outside.
Rest, Before Freedom.
Now, the embryo takes a break. After pipping away, it grows tired. It’s closer than its ever been, to freedom, but it pauses to rest. (I’m feeling this for someone!!!!) At this point, the embryo begins using not just its egg tooth and neck muscles, but now incorporates the strength from its wings and legs to facilitate the process of cutting a circle into its shell. Once the circle is wide enough, the embryo will press its legs even harder to free itself. “Newly hatched chicks look very wet, tired, and vulnerable. A while after hatching, their down feathers dry, they become fluffy and after they recovered from the hatching process they become more active.”
Be honest. Are you in need of a break? Do you need to step away, to get away and out of your normal environment? If you removed the anxiety and fear surrounding stillness, would the need for rest and a change in scenery still remain? Rest and inspiration through clarity is not only needed to finish, but for what’s coming next.