What are you Unwilling to See?
What is your favorite movie genre? Likely, your selection is mood dependent. After challenging days, I love to select from the “children & family” category on Netflix; such movies usually bring me back to a sane mind. Drama movies are my safest and favorite choice, as they typically bring enough excitement to the table without going overboard. I’m “iffy” with comedy’s. When I watch the trailer, it has to be really really funny in order for me to select them. Stand up comedies with either Kevin Hart or Wanda Sykes always deliver. One particular genre, though, that I’ve increasingly grown to avoid are horror films. It used to be that I could watch them, but only with another person. And then, it progressed to me only watching them with another person BUT during the day time. Now, I feel like I’ve given up on them almost completely. I began to notice that I was covering my eyes and skipping scenes for the majority of the movie. So much so, that I would miss the whole premise of the movie.
Inspired while Driving…
As I was driving back home today, it hit me: not only do I not care for movies showing ruthless killing, stabbing/shooting or any blatant violence—I also haven’t liked certain scenes in my own life. In particular, I’m referring to the past. There have been seasons of my life where I felt completely lost and at my wits end, and I learned, in order to survive, my way was to overlook what was happening. Keep busy. Work around in order to avoid. Cover my eyes…
“Oh, the places you’ll go”
If you’re on this journey of spiritual awakening and personal growth, I want you to be sensitive to something very very important. Eventually, your commitment to rise and grow will lead you to face what you’ve been avoiding. You cannot avoid or run from your past. You cannot avoid confronting the trauma, whether emotional or memory (thought) related, because the more you avoid, the deeper those experiences are embedded within you.
Now, is this easy? No. It’s uncomfortable and it may bring you to your knees. But if you really want to be free—free from your past and free to step into a future of lasting clarity, peace and flow—it’s a step that you cannot avoid.
Take a moment, right now, to simply close your eyes and breathe. Take your time. And then—ask that the STRONGEST version of you would be called out, set forth as you confront what’s been keeping you stuck in the past. Acknowledge that you no longer wish to run from and remain tethered to “that part of your past”.
Why must I watch this horror (scary) movie?
Otherwise, what you’ve been doing all of this time is avoiding being triggered. You’ve been “babying” your past by ensuring that you don’t put yourself in situations that may cause what you’ve buried so deep within you to rise to the surface. You’ve constructed your life around this PAIN point. You’ve put so much time and energy into avoiding bumping against it that you don’t even realize that you are actually feeding it. The very act of avoiding is what’s keeping it alive.
Sit with this thought…
“In order to reach this state of awareness, you must let your entire psyche surface. Every little separated piece of it must be permitted to pass through. Right now, many fragmented parts of your psyche are held within you. If you want to be free, it all has to be equally exposed to your awareness and released. But it will never get exposed if you’re closing yourself. After all, the purpose of closing was to make sure that the sensitive parts of your psyche don’t get exposed. So you catch on that no matter how much pain the exposure creates, you are willing to pay that price for freedom. When you are no longer willing to identify with the part of you that is separating itself into a million pieces, you are ready for real growth.”
-Micheal A. Singer