Breaking the Addiction of Comfort & Familiarity
We were all dreading it. That season when we would finally have to separate my youngest sister from her sippy cup. Luckily, she was not much of a pacifier kind-of baby. She was a bit more specific. She wanted her “juice,” and she wanted that juice between 12AM and 2AM, like clockwork each early morning. She would roll over and realize she needed comfort, and comfort, for this 3-year-old, came in the form of a cup filled with Welch’s apple juice. Because she was so dependent on this cup of juice for comfort, we knew it was going to be hell separating her from familiarity.
It’s a New Season.
“Seeing that they can find no recognizable handle to hold onto in a new season, they look backward to something commonplace in order to receive comfort” (Jakes, 2019, p. 202). As we move from one season to another, one job to another, one phase of life to another, we often times feel lost. We can feel like we are out in a field, wandering. Out in this field, we look around and we see two things: in one direction is the familiarity and comfort of where we have been.
Should I go back? This was a stupid decision, why am I doing this?
In the other direction, is growth, the unknown, and what we hope to be our promise. As you look closer, you realize it’s in the space between what was and what will be that the magic happens. Now you are in a sustainable environment that’s designed to rid you of your dependency to comfort and familiarity. You will wrestle with wanting all of these things, but realize this is the stimulant that will finally cause you to break free from that desire. When we are FORCED to move forward, this in between phase becomes a purging system. Although it is, indeed uncomfortable, it’s the necessary environment that will detach you from your dependency.
Otherwise, we would remain…
If left up to my 3-year-old sister, I’m sure she would have gone on with her late-night sippy cup fix. Why? Because it was comfortable, it’s what she grew to know. She grew to have this desire. In order to undue this addiction, she needed a stimulus, my family, to do something that yes was going to cause a season of discomfort. In the end, however, this would be best for her. I have seen the impact of a child using a bottle, cup, or pacifier beyond the “normal” years of development. It ends us impacting their teeth and there is a huge psycho-social-emotional component connected to a child who needs those things for comfort. She couldn’t see or understand it then, but this season of discomfort would yield an advantage.
Where are you?
Maybe you’re in that kind of season: a season in your life where you are being FORCED to leave the confines of familiarity. Maybe you’re in the middle of the forest, wandering, and you desperately want to return back to what used to bring you comfort. I am also willing to guess, that if you looked closer, that you’d see that you NEED to break this addiction. You NEED the present stimulus and environment, otherwise you wouldn’t push yourself. Otherwise, you may look back on your life wishing you had the COURAGE to leave your safety net. Maybe the environment or situation you are in today is the incubator for which your dream, purpose, and highest self needs to be nurtured. Recognize that a part of you will desire to cling to comfort, it’s only human. Admit it, turn and face this giant until the bite no longer stings. I’m encouraging you to believe fully in the other part of you, the part of you who wants more, the part of you who believes that courage will inspire and lift your Faith. This is the part of you who realizes that you are better off without that sippy cup.
Believe in that part of you. Empower that part of you.