Access Granted: Using Your Imagination & Belief to Create a New Reality.
I needed something. I needed something that would speak to my heart, to the part of me that was scared, to the part of me that felt lost. I needed something that would keep me moving forward, towards hope. Maybe it wouldn’t take away what I was feeling deep inside, but at least…just for a moment, it would remind me that everything is okay. I wanted some kind of relief from the sting, from the pressure of it all.
When I was a kid, Barney was my outlet for release. Barney was more than a dinosaur, he was more than a stuffed animal that laid next to me at night. Barney met me where others didn’t. Barney brought me love and comfort when all I could hear in my surroundings were screams and thumps against the wall. Barney represented the kind of love I knew was possible, he allowed me to imagine the fullest, most beautiful version of myself. And then, one day, he was gone. I searched and searched but couldn’t find him. Confused by his disappearance, I moved on…
The Heart of a Rose
The red rose represented a deep belief that something special was within me, something that was as beautiful as the rose. It was also a promise, a promise that what I worked to believe today would eventually manifest. The red rose was my guide, a symbol of Faith. To keep me inspired and hopeful, I would place them everywhere. On my counter in the bathroom, on the ledge of my tub next to a scented candle, on my living room table. I would focus on the rose in my meditations, doing my best to fully connect to its promise. Instinctively, I knew I had to override reality by creating the one I wanted, by imagining it. In that way, I guess Barney was still with me. One lesson I remember from Barney is that he’s a dinosaur from our imaginations. When I closed my eyes at night, I would hear him singing, “I love you, you love me.” Each time I looked at the red rose, I was extended an invitation. An invitation to see the fullest version of myself, an invitation to feel whole and loved. An invitation to step into what was to come. I was receiving access to my healing.
A Full Circle Moment.
“Scientists agree that the human nervous system cannot tell the difference between an actual experience and an experience imagined vividly, emotionally and in detail.” I read something similar to that countless times. It was potent research, but it never really stuck in the way that I wanted it to. I wanted to integrate it into my life, I wanted to believe from it and not simply in it. Yesterday I revisited that message and, this time, it landed differently. It stuck to me. It stuck to my heart where Barney used to live. I was reminded that Barney first taught me that very same lesson. How could I have forgotten? A friendly chuckle turned into tears. The tears flowed as I began to let go. “Wow, things are really coming full circle.” I began to recall how the red rose rescued and began to guide me in October of 2014.
Are you living in a full circle moment? Sarah Jakes Roberts describes full circle moments as “when a version of you experiences something that transpired when a lesser version of you existed.” Another way she defines it is, “when the divine you finishes what unbelief started.” If you are here today, accept that you have been granted access to freedom. Accept that you have been given access to a higher version of yourself. I know, it may feel different to embrace and accept at first, but if you are here that means you have put in the blood, sweat, and tears to arrive at this very moment. Give yourself the ultimate expression of self-love: access to live a new story with new possibilities.